Meet Me in the Middle

I'm not fond of extremes, whether it's temperatures, politics, or religion. I've found that although I lean right or left on certain issues, mostly I find myself in the middle. I can usually understand perspectives on both ends of the spectrum, which helps me find common ground with both sides. I just don't feel a need to dig my feet in and defend any position to the death. I've learned that I can have strong beliefs, loosely held. That means that even when I do feel strongly about something, I can keep my mind open to the possibility that I may be wrong, or that I am not seeing the big picture. I can keep a space open within myself to listen to other perspectives, experiences, and beliefs. It's just as okay if I disagree with someone as it is if I agree with them, because I have no need to convince, sway, or force anyone else to see, think, or believe the same as I do. 

That's not to say that it doesn't annoy me at times when hearing the extremes of either side of an issue. Here are a few that make me shake my head and wonder why people can't see that truth often lies in the middle of two stories, and that people can experience the same exact situation in vastly different ways and it doesn't mean one way is right and another is wrong. (And I realize this has simplified and non-comprehensive versions of beliefs. I'm just writing some of what I've heard and read lately from both sides.) 

Critical Race Theory

On the right you've got lots of fear-mongering about the schools indoctrinating our children with the idea that our venerable Founding Fathers were evil slave-holders, and that history is being erased or re-written. There are fights to ban books, save old statues, and defend all of the good that has happened in this country while denying or minimizing the bad. On the left, you've got those who would have you believe that any good that has come from the founding of America has been wiped out by the evils of slavery and discrimination. It's politically incorrect to point out the virtues of the Founding Fathers, and there's an effort to only focus on their vices. There's a push to teach children that whites should feel guilty for what has happened to blacks, Native Americans, and other minority groups. 

Both of these tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Is it so inconceivable to think that America is a great nation in spite of slavery and discrimination, that is was founded on just principles that haven't been fully realized yet, that the Founding Fathers were mostly good men, doing the best they could with the prevailing beliefs of their era, but that there are lingering effects from our troubled past, and not everyone has gotten to enjoy the same rights and freedom? I don't understand why both sides can't be taught to children and adults alike. There are ways to highlight the positives without denying the negatives, and ways to teach the atrocities without making it sound like those were the only events that happened or mattered. Both sides are legitimate, both sides are significant, and both sides can be studied, taught, and learned from. By denying either or both, we slow the progress that we need to be making to live up to the ideals of freedom and equality for all.

Abortion

Another hot topic is abortion. I am not pro or anti abortion. I really do understand and empathize with both sides. This is a subject that is often treated in black or white terms, but pregnancy, maternal health, and women's rights are complicated, without a "one size fits all" solution. I don't know all the "right" answers about abortion, but I believe that no woman should be forced to go through a pregnancy caused by rape or incest, nor should a woman be required to risk her life for a baby that has no chance of survival outside the womb, or for a pregnancy that is likely to cause her great harm or possible death. I understand that every life has value, and that a child conceived by force is not responsible for its conception, and that some women can go through that trauma and be okay. But... not all can. I just don't see how it can be okay to intentionally inflict psychological and even spiritual trauma on a woman for something she didn't do. On the other hand, I don't think abortion should be widely available and used as birth control. I think there should be a valid reason to get an abortion. I think abortion pills should be easily available, because they do nothing more than what many women's bodies do naturally through an early miscarriage, and I don't see it as much different than birth control. And speaking of birth control... if you want women to have fewer abortions, make birth control widely available and easily accessible. Teach young women about safe sex and options to prevent pregnancy. Those tactics have been proven to reduce the number of abortions. But for God's sake, no matter which side of this issue you sit on, remember that people on the other side are also humans, worthy of respect and civil treatment. No person has the right to condemn another for their beliefs in this world. Leave that up to God.

Religion

And since I brought up God... I am a rather unorthodox member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose beliefs run the gamut of Christianity and even some other religions. I am open to truth from many different sources, and don't feel the need to get on a soapbox and try to force my beliefs or my religion down anyone's throat. I think there's a place in the middle for all of the religious and even agnostic beliefs in this world, where we can all find common ground (with the exception sometimes of  extremism.) I think most people believe in the golden rule, "treat others the way you want to be treated," and agree that criminal acts like murder, rape, and theft are wrong. So why are we creating so much contention and disunity over something that should be a positive influence?? I don't need someone to believe in the fine points of my religious beliefs for me to find common ground with them. You want to believe that your religion is the only way to Heaven? Great! Let's talk about what you think that requires, and how well you're living up to your own standards. You think religion is a man-made construct to repress men and women? No problem! I'd love to find out why you hold that belief, and can be curious rather than dismissive. How about the idea that organized religion is unnecessary or even harmful, and that personal spirituality and relationship with God is what really matters? Interesting! Tell me about your spiritual journey, and your relationship with God. I just don't understand why people think it's healthy or helpful to be so fixed in their beliefs that they feel the need to attack those who disagree or to force their beliefs (including behavioral standards) on others who don't share their beliefs. Freedom of religion is not only to allow everyone to believe and worship whatever and however they like, but also the freedom to not be forced to live someone else's religion. 

Bring your beliefs and meet me in the middle, where we can discuss our thoughts, feelings, and perspectives with passion and openness, but also with respect and civility. We can agree to disagree and still be friends, neighbors, and fellow patriots. It's really not impossible, if we both want it.