Father versus Bridegroom

Is it significant that in the scriptures we are referred to as the children of God (1 John 3:10; Romans 9:8; Luke 20:36) yet our Savior is often symbolized as our bridegroom (Matthew 25:1-13; John 3:27-30; Revelations 19:5-10)? I think it gives us insight into the differences between these relationships and where our priorities should be.

The difference between the relationships of parent/child and husband/wife are interesting and notable. To be clear, there is nothing to compare with either relationship. They are both unique and valuable in their own ways. However, there are a couple distinctions that make each very different from the other.

First, a parent-child relationship is based on the premise that you are raising a young member of your species to become an independent, capable adult. We love our children, we try to protect them, nurture them, and love them. We work to instill in them the values that we cherish, the lessons we've learned, and the ability to go out and make their own way in the world. We raise them with the knowledge that we will, at the right time, let them go. We will still be their parent and we will always love them, care for them, help them, and have a relationship with them, but they will move on to live their own lives and find their own spouse and continue the legacy of parent-child relationships.

The spousal relationship, on the other hand, is based on both partners (ideally) already being adults and coming together on equal terms. They are meant to support, encourage, love, and be devoted to each other. There should be no room for anyone else to take up the space in their heart that is reserved for their spouse. They are bound together through commitment, time, shared experiences, and love. They will hopefully be privileged to raise children together and share in all of the joys and heartaches that come with parenthood. When the time comes for those children to move on, though, they are left with each other. They are to cleave to each other, not to their children or to the family as a whole (although family unity and devotion are not to be undervalued.)

If we relate this to how our relationships to God the Father and to our Savior Jesus Christ are symbolized, it becomes apparent that there are definite similarities. God, as our father, has given us the opportunity to come to earth and "grow up." He nurtures us, teaches us, and loves us. But I think that, like earthly parents, He has hopes that we will mature, move on in our own lives, and find our "spouse."
That's where Christ comes in. Jesus is our bridegroom, our spouse. He takes the most prominent place in our hearts and in our lives. Our commitment and devotion need to be to Him above all else. We may be privileged to have "children" with him (those we help bring to Him and His gospel) but after all is said and done, what we will have left is our relationship with Him.

At this point, God is still our Father and we are His children. But we are Christ's bride. We have an obligation to pledge our complete fidelity to Him and to commit our life to our relationship to Him. And just like this symbolic relationship, we have the same obligations toward our earthly spouse. We are not to let anyone or anything (including children) come between us. I think it's wonderful that in a day when so many people have lost sight of the purpose of marriage and family that we have such a beautiful example in God's own word.

I Love Spring!!

I dream of a world where it is perpetually spring and summer. Green, blooming, warm, alive. Longer days with more light and sunshine. Rain enough to keep things growing. I know it can't be like that, and that we need the fall and winter, but I can still dream!

It's spring now, though, and I'm wide awake and enjoying every moment of today. Last year I moved near the beginning of June and things were too hectic for me to get any planting done. This year, I promised myself a) I would have a garden again and b) I would actually plan what and where I should plant. I'm feeling darned good that I've already accomplished the beginning of both!

Here's what my yard looks like today:

 David working hard

 

 What you can't see is all the work I put into turning over the soil in the box on the right- before David decided we should rent the small tiller and save lots of time and energy!

 

 We had a couple random tulips and other bulb flowers but they were in bad spots so I dug them up, divided them, put them in the front and planted asparagus in the back.

Might as well grow something useful in this space, right?

 

 Here's a shot of the finished boxes and flowerbed.

 

And one more view. Found the trellis at Aldi and couldn't resist

having something so pretty for peas to climb. :)

 

I've already got some potatoes and peas planted. Can't wait to see them start poking up through the soil. Looking forward to planting tomatoes, peppers, carrots, chives, garlic, bush beans, and zucchini. Check out www.Vegetable-Gardening-Online.com for a fabulous garden planning tool. 

What a Blessing a Friend Is

I have some really great friends in Cincinnati who I still miss and wish I could be around, but I was thinking about it and most of my closest friends had moved away during our stay in Cincy. (Columbus, Missouri, and Nevada took some of the closest ones.)

But I always had other friends who welcomed and accepted me so it wasn't too heartbreaking and I didn't feel really lonely. Not like how it's been here in Steubenville.
The past 11 months here has been hard, not only because it's a much different culture but in a larger part because of the loneliness. It's been hard to connect with people here-  not because they're unfriendly (quite the opposite) but because everyone is busy with their own lives and families and everyone is so spread out geographically.

Just when I was feeling like I was a lonely island with life just passing me by, I met Stephanie.
Let me just say that she is awesome. It's rare (for me) to find someone I "click" with so immediately. Normally it takes months to get comfortable with someone new and get a feel for where the friendship stands or is going. Not this time. Stephanie is so open, friendly, and fun that it's easy to spend time with her. It's really almost scary how much we have in common (down to the same kitchen countertops and bathroom medicine cabinets!) We've had fun walking through her town (Follansbee, WV), hanging out at my house, watching her and her husband play in a charity basketball game, going out to dinner and watching a movie (it was so nice to not be alone when David was out of town!) and exploring a trail in one of the parks in Steubenville. I'm sure to a "normal" person this would seem pretty average, but with all of my social issues, it's probably the most socializing I've done in years in such a short amount of time!

She is already a much greater blessing in my life than she knows. People underestimate the power a good friend can have, but I know how much it helps me to have someone who encourages me to socialize, accepts me just the way I am, and is excited to do things together.

It makes me a little thankful for the loneliness of the first 9 months here- not because I like being lonely, but because the contrast is so much sweeter when it's that noticeable.

So thank you, to every one of you who has been a friend to me. Your love, example, and influence have blessed my life immeasurably.

General Conference

Here are a few quotes (as close to word for word as I can get), ideas, and reflections on what touched my heart during General Conference this weekend:

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf: "Accept that darkness exists, but do not dwell there."
Coming from a perspective of depression and feeling that I'm often surrounded by darkness, it's a good reminder to me to accept the fact that it's real, but not to focus on it. I need to focus my attention on God's light instead.

Elder L. Tom Perry: "None of us should underestimate how driven Satan is to succeed."
While it's good to check our own commitment and determination to do what is right, it's also smart to keep in mind the fact that we've got a very real, very powerful adversary who wants nothing more than to lead us away from God and make us miserable.

President Thomas S. Monson: His story about his childhood friend, Danny, and their attempt to clear a field of weeds by lighting it on fire. I couldn't help but think of my older brother and his attempt to light some small fires in weeds near our home in California. It made the story all the more real to me, but I didn't lose sight of the lesson contained in it: there is value in obedience!

President Monson: "The great test of this life is obedience."
We face many tests in this life, but as the scriptures say "... Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." (1 Samuel 15:22)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: "...trying to stuff a turkey through it's beak."
I couldn't help it. I laughed pretty hard at the mental image on this one. I loved all of the light-hearted moments of conference. It felt good to laugh and to know that living the gospel isn't supposed to be a heavy burden- it's meant to bring us joy!

L. Whitney Clayton: On watching and learning to have a great marriage.
Here's my summary of his five principles for a strong marriage:
1) Both spouses believe marriage is priceless.
2) Faith. They go to church, do scripture study, say prayers, pay tithes. It's a mutual quest to be obedient.
3) Repentance. Humility is the essence of repentance. Put your spouse before your self.
4) Respect. They treat each other as equals, make decisions unanimously with equal votes. It's based on cooperation, not negotiation.
5) Love. Cleave to one another. Love with complete devotion.

I'm grateful for the lessons that are shared to help those of us who maybe didn't have the best role models of a happy marriage. It's also reassuring to know that my daughter can learn these principles before she even says "I do" and it will give her and her future husband a much better foundation to build on.

Erich W. Kopischke: "The feeling of being accepted by those we love is a basic human need."
Having struggled with self esteem issues and the desire for acceptance my entire life, this talk really resonated with me. I appreciated the reminder to focus on gaining God's acceptance because His is the only acceptance that will really fill the void.

All in all, this weekend's conference was just what I needed (again.) It's given me inspiration, hope, and the strength to get up tomorrow morning and keep trying. I'm extremely grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has placed righeous men (and women) of wisdom and inspiration in positions to counsel us and give us guidance. I'm also thankful that each of these brothers and sisters accepted the assignment to speak to us and put so much thought and prayer into their messages. I don't know how anyone could listen to some of these talks and not believe. If you didn't get a chance to watch or listen to General Conference, you can go here to view it over the web.