Inconspicuous Survivors are Inspirational

 I love stories about survivors, "overcomers," and underdogs who defied the odds. They make for really great books and movies, and I often find them inspiring and motivating. But then there's the flip side. I start comparing myself, wondering how that person was able to rise above their circumstances, and why I haven't been able to achieve even a fraction of their success. Does it mean that I'm somehow broken, inept, stupid, lazy, or lacking in determination? As much as I celebrated others who overcame their life circumstances, I couldn't help but think that because I hadn't done the same, I was a failure. And by worldly standards, that might be true.

Then I got to thinking... for every one story of a meteoric rise from the ashes, there are many thousands of untold stories of people who have experienced trauma that was so devastating to them that their success is just making it from one day to the next. They aren't the ones who set the world on fire or wow us with their brilliance. They are the quiet, unseen heroes who went through hell and decided they would not be the reason someone else endured what they did. Maybe they spent more time in the ashes, and rose slowly, like a an old man struggling to get up from his chair. Their story probably had more downs than ups, and their upward trajectory may look more like a volatile stock's performance than a linear rise. These survivors likely had no fortuitous intervention or solid ally who had their back. The real "overcomers" are the ones who never got a lucky break, but still show up- for work, for their families, for life. They might be loners unable to connect with other humans because of deep-seated trust issues, have stunted social skills caused by abuse or neglect, or they may stay in the background, afraid to attract attention. They will likely never have a book written about them, or achieve much worldly success, but they are conquerors who continue to withstand the pain and heartache of their past, but keep on going anyways.

I am, in my own small way, one of those invisible survivors. If I ever write my story, it may get twenty views on this blog, but it won't become a best-seller. And I'm okay with that. It's taken me many, many years to start to accept myself, and to believe that I have worth just by existing. I always felt the need to earn love and approval, and to prove that I deserve to be taking up space on this planet. Now I realize that it's okay to not measure up to the world's standards of success. Most of those (beauty, wealth, power, intellect, influence, lifestyle) are bullshit anyways. We don't come from the same circumstances, so why should we be judged on the same scale? For that matter, why should we be judged at all on those things? I'll spend my time focused on the things that matter... love, kindness, compassion, healing. By doing this, I'll naturally come in contact with other unnoticed heroes, and I  hope that my eyes are open enough to see them, because they deserve to be recognized and acknowledged.