Sometimes I struggle with being "different." Anyone who knows me well knows that the way I think and perceive things is usually not the same as how others think and perceive. It makes me different, and it's not easy to not fit in.
In some ways I can recognize this as a gift- I can look at things and come up with a different (and often positive) interpretation, versus a "common" response that may only see something negative.
But there are other times that it seems to be a burden and a curse. There are times when I really would like to understand things the way others do. I would like to take some things at face value and not automatically try to look at all the angles and come up with half a dozen questions to try to fully understand.
It might also help me avoid being titled "nosy" (I prefer "curious", but I can see the other's person's point, even if I don't think my curiosity has the same intentions as nosiness.) I don't ask questions to discover someones secrets or to exploit vulnerabilities. I ask because I have an insatiable desire to really and deeply understand where that person is coming from and what they really mean. If I'm going to go to the effort of getting to know something or someone, I want to know it genuinely and with a complete understanding.
Often I keep my questions to myself because I know that most other people don't understand or appreciate this desire. It's usually only with a trusted few that I will let myself be myself and be as curious as I really want to be. Some people are patient with me and help me understand, and others get frustrated and don't get why I want/need to know every angle and detail. I try not to be hurt by the negative responses, and just remember that my being "different" isn't easy for them to understand either.
In the end, I am what I am. And if that means I'm different, so be it. I may never be popular or "normal" or even well understood, but I know there are a few people out there who benefit from who and how I am, and they've helped me to accept that sometimes "different" is actually good.
1 comment:
Thank you for being you. I hope this isn't to mushy for you, but this is why I love you so much! Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to "really and deeply understand where [I am] coming from and what [I] really mean" and thank you for wanting to understand me genuinely and completely. I love that you ask questions, and feel comfortable doing so. I much prefer that to people who assume or jump to conclusions. I also know that you would understand if I ever chose not to answer.
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