Friday, July 13, 2012

Why Mormons Shouldn't Make Coffee

I'm sitting here chuckling to myself as "Mr. Cranky Man" is cussing about how awful the coffee is that I made.
Since I'm Mormon and don't drink coffee for religious and health reasons, I guess I should explain how I came to be in this situation, huh?
Today at David's work they are going through a special "audit" by a prospective client, which basically means that they have all of their equipment and paperwork inspected to make sure they have everything the client requires. Because of this "big" event I was asked to come in to work this morning to take care of some paperwork, to buy donuts and coffee, and sit and look busy at the front desk.
Sooo... I don't drink coffee. I don't even know where to buy a carafe of coffee, especially in this town. The donuts were easy enough to find (try Downtown Bakery if you're ever in town!) but for coffee the best chance to get enough for a group was to buy a coffeemaker. I went ahead and bought the coffeemaker and all the supplies (I even remembered filters!) and got it all set up. Then I read the directions for the coffeemaker and the instructions on the can of coffee and gave it my best shot.
Unfortunately for Mr. Cranky Man I needed a guinea pig to test out the first pot.
Wow- he doesn't hold anything back! I'm sitting in the next room listening to "D__n this sh#* is nasty! Ugh! You would kill someone if they drank it." (You can insert more cussing and complaining because it went on and on.)
He can't say I didn't warn him. From the time I brought the coffeemaker in I let everyone know that I don't drink coffee so I wasn't experienced in making it. He just sat on his butt and waited while I made it. So do I think he deserved to be almost killed by my bad coffee? Yeah, kinda. And I'm just horrible enough to be sitting here laughing about the whole thing.
All's well that ends well, though. Mr. Cranky Man poured out half the pot, added more water and finally declared it drinkable. Then he proceeded to tell me how much coffee I should have used (I actually used less than what he recommended.) Thank goodness for his expertise, huh?
The moral of this story is... Mormons shouldn't make coffee. Not unless they've got someone experienced who's nice enough to teach them and is willing to nicely test the results. Otherwise, you might just die from drinking it.


Mama D said...

True. I hate making coffee for this very reason!

Jennifer Andersen said...

In Fairfield, when the power was out from the windstorm, our neighbors across the street brought us coffee in the morning (they had a generator). I told him no thanks we don't drink it. He didn't believe me. Finally he left (with the coffee), giving me a strange look.

Louann and Bari said...

I laughed and laughed at this...and 'Mr Cranky Man'. I could just see your beautiful big smile as you explained (I'm sure) that He could make a pot....hahaha....

Steve and Jamie said...

You could just say what I say to my girls "you get what you get, and you don't get upset."

I've been reading through your posts for the last few months,(I've been neglecting my google reader for a while now) and I just want to say that I miss you. You are such an amazing person, and I want to be like you when I grow up! Also, I need to add that I think you need to look into writing as a career. You have great insight and such a unique perspective on how you see things. Anyway, I just wanted to know that I think you are pretty awesome.