Some days I truly feel like a child who was raised by wolves and now has to adjust to living with humans. I'm very aware of my limitations on interacting with other people and that I'm probably not the most approachable person around. This is something that I still struggle with on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. Some days are better than others.
What really hurts, though, is the thought that God put me in a position where I'm expected to talk to everyone and be good at conversations and be the type of person people can come to with concerns. I know He gives us many opportunities to learn and grow, and sometimes even to fail. I'm worried that this might be one of those. I didn't ask for this calling. I don't think I'm qualified for it right now and I have serious doubts that I ever will be. I'm willing to keep going only because I believe that this is supposed to be a learning experience and there's some reason unknown to me for me being here at this time. But my journey out of social anxiety has been so slow and I've often been pushing myself to accomplish even tiny steps that I wonder what part I can play in God's plan for this ward, especially in Relief Society.
Sometimes I'm ready to go back to the cave with the wolves and give up trying to be something I'm not.