I Believe In Christ

Tis the Season!

2009-12-15T14:05:00.006-05:00

Here's a better picture of our Christmas tree.

Here's what I've been up to today... I lost count but I think it's 7-8 dozen. (This was the one item left over from last week's to-do list.) Hopefully I'll get around to frosting them tonight. The recipe I use makes the most delicious sugar cookies ever. (I'm willing to share if anyone wants a copy!) My plan this year is to make 2-3 things really well, rather than trying to make 5-6 and ending up frazzled and cranky. I'm trying to keep Christmas simple and enjoyable this year.

This is the first time we've done a gingerbread house (pitiful, I know) but this kit from Aldi's really turned out cute!

I've found two "tools" that have really helped to keep me in the Christmas mood this year. It's two different radio stations. The first is 93.3, which is a Christian station that plays all Christmas music. (How can you go wrong listening to Christmas music??! It's the most joyful music in the world!)
The second one is 93.7 (www.wfcj.com, out of Dayton) It not only plays some Christmas music but also has great Christian programs. I enjoy hearing different perspectives and points of view and have loved being more focused on the Savior and the scriptures this month.

I can honestly say that this year I've been enjoying the holiday season a lot more and I've been blessed to be able to feel God's love so strongly.
It really IS the most wonderful time of the year!

Weak Things Become Strong

2009-12-08T07:29:00.003-05:00

Ether 12 "27: And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
37.... And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong..."

I thought it was interesting to ponder this morning how a weakness can be a strength. Here's what I came up with:

We all have weakness. Note that I didn't say "weaknesses" (plural.) All of our "weaknesses" can be bundled under one main weakness, and that is that we're mortal. We're all sinful creatures who are easily tempted by the flesh. Our biggest problem is that we don't all SEE our weakness. When we don't come unto God we continue in our own "strength" and think that we are strong and powerful all on our own. Unfortunately, what little "strength" we have is miniscule compared to how strong we can really be with God's help.

When we do come unto God we are admitting to ourselves that there is a power greater than ourselves. This naturally helps to humble us because we recognize that our "strength" is not ultimate. We are no longer in the position of feeling that we are at the top of the food chain. There is something out there stronger and greater than us.

God takes that first inkling of humility and builds upon it. He shows us our weakness by helping us understand that we are carnal creatures, prone to weaknesses and easily tempted. As we acknowlege this weakness we open ourselves to the possibility (truth) that God is stronger than us and we let Him start working within us. We have, in a sense, given Him permission to give us His strength and power. Hence, when God shows us how weak we are we actually become stronger through Him because we are allowing ourselves to draw upon a greater source of power than our own.

When we don't come unto God we tend to stay puffed up in our pride and in our perceived notions of how "strong" we are. We miss out on opportunities for growth and learning because we don't even see that we have a need for them. Our perception of what is weak and what is strong is usually based on the world's views and definitions, which are incompatible with God's truth. God doesn't see arrogance, pride, earthly power, influence or wealth as strengths. Each of these is actually a weakness in God's eyes. They all keep us from coming to God and let us continue in the comfortable idea that all is well.

Humility is a sincere acknowlegment that we can only be strong through Christ's grace. We are weak on our own. It is only through Him that we can even approach the Father and ask to be filled with His power.

Sadly, we usually don't come to God on our own. We tend to live our lives day in and day out in ignorance of our need for Him. Often it's in our most severe trials and those times when we have lost control in our lives that we finally recognize the need for a power greater than our own. That's when we start to see how weak we are and start approaching God for help and strength. In that moment of humility we are empowered and Christ's grace goes to work to help us overcome, and our weakness becomes a strength to us.

God's ways are not our ways. We need to align ourselves with God's way of thinking so that our ideas of strength change. A humble man speaking truths has a quiet power that can't be mistaken for the arrogant boastings of what the world considers to be a "strong" or powerful man. God's strength is ultimate and everlasting. It's the kind of strength I want to have.

Oh Tannenbaum, Oh Tannenbaum

2009-12-07T15:19:00.003-05:00

Thankfully we had time last week to pick out a Christmas tree and over the

course of a couple days it got decorated too!

If I had more time today I'd take better pictures of it, but this will do!

Bare tree

With lights

Done!

Whoa!

2009-12-07T09:49:00.004-05:00

Can someone stop this ride and let me off? I'm getting motion sickness from how fast the world is turning!!
Wanna see my to-do list for this week (this is what I have so far... there will be more added, guaranteed!)

seminary every morning
clean the bathrooms
vacuum the whole house twice during the week
wash & change the sheets on my bed
laundry
dishes
making dinners
getting Christmas cards ready
wrapping gifts
mailing gifts (dreaded trip to the post office... ugh!)
baking sugar cookies
picking up flowers for a memorial service
attending memorial service
visit teaching at least one sister on my route
Relief Society business (visiting teaching changes, etc.)
visit with a sister who's new to the ward
go out with the sister missionaries to visit another new sister
grocery shopping
pay bills
buy my mom a gift
buy birthday cards for 10 different people
take Aimee to Wednesday night activities

What's crazy is that this week is SLOWER than last week!!

Thanksgiving List

2009-11-25T12:00:00.001-05:00

Here's a list of things I'm thankful for:

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ: for their love, mercy, power and presence in my life. Without Christ's atonement nothing else would really matter eternally.
Family: for putting up with me and loving me even when I've been unlovable. And for teaching me patience!
Friends: for accepting me for who I am and helping me become someone better.
Home: for having a safe place to live with all the comforts and conveniences that a human could ever need.
Life: for the opportunity to live on this earth, gain experience and learn how to love.
Love: it's what life is all about!
My testimony or witness of Christ: I know Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. He is my perfect example and the reason for all I try to do.
The United States of America: I'm so blessed to live in this great country. It was founded by the most amazing and wise men. I have rights and privileges that many can only dream about.

And for all of these:
clean water to drink and bathe
hot & cold running water inside my house
electricity
phones, computers, electronics
plenty of food to eat every day
enough income to meet our needs
my husband's employment
being able to go to church each Sunday
the freedom to believe what I want
knowledge of the gospel
good health
faith
a fully functioning body
an alert mind capable of learning
great desire to learn
books
google
blue skies
sunshine
warm blankets
central heat & a/c
vehicles that work (most of the time!)
money for gas
the freedom to go wherever I want to
trees
flowers
animals
my kitties
laughter
good conversation
music
the ability to hear, see, touch, smell and taste
eyeglasses
clothing (especially the stuff that fits well!)
rain
colors
hugs
mail
peace
paper
inventions
intelligent people
other people who are good examples
opportunities to give service
clumping cat litter
crockpots
lightbulbs
great art
caring people
hearing someone tell me "I love you"
watching my daughter draw
interesting discussions
being noticed
the constitution and bill of rights
the ability to change
optimism
good moods
people who understand things I don't and take the time to explain them to me
talents & abilities (mine and others')
the smell of cinnamon, chocolate or baked goods
a child's smile
toothbrushes & toothpaste
refrigeration
not living in a war zone
feeling safe
holding a loved one's hand
sleep (maybe I should put that one in all caps)

I could keep the list going but I think this is enough for one post. Although I'm thankful for many things, I wish I could say I was thankful for ALL things. I'm working toward that goal. I heard a great story on the radio yesterday about a man who was robbed. He wrote in his diary that he was thankful for it because: he had never been robbed before, they only took his money not his life, they took everything he had but it wasn't much anyways, it was him that was robbed instead of one of his loved ones, and because he was being robbed instead of being the one doing the robbing. I can only hope to someday reach that level of gratitude and understanding.

What are you thankful for?

Thankful for...

2009-11-24T08:29:00.004-05:00

As I think over the long list of things that I'm thankful for one thing keeps coming to the front of my mind. I am so thankful that God saw fit in His wisdom and mercy to take a soul as lost as mine and save me from myself. I can't begin to describe the difference between my life 15 years ago with the life I'm living today. I am a completely changed person and none of it would have been possible without the grace and mercy of my Savior Jesus Christ. I have been given so many learning opportunities. So many doors to understanding have been opened that at times I'm overwhelmed at which one to go through first!

I am thankful to be able to look back and realize that all of my mistakes, all of my fears and challenges have been used to make me who I am today. I wasn't bound down by the bad experiences in my life but have been given the chance to rise above what I've done and come closer to becoming the woman God wants me to be.

I am thankful that God takes notice of each one of us individually. What helped me learn and change is probably not the same as what would touch someone else's heart. My road is much different than most of my friends'. But through it all He never gave up on me. He was always there, even when I didn't notice Him.

Now I look around and find that with His spirit to guide me I gain understanding of things that I never even contemplated before. He really does reveal things to those whose eyes and ears are open. I'm sorry I wasted so much of my life being deaf, blind and clueless. But I'm so grateful that He gave me the choice and then gave me the power to change my thinking and my life.

In some ways I almost feel sorry for those who haven't had to overcome major sins in their lives. I am definitely NOT recommending committing sins to experience this, but I think that those who have been the farthest from God and have had the most need of forgiveness are given a special witness of Christ's power and might. The more sick a person is, the more they tend to appreciate and cherish the healing when it happens. And that's how I feel. I was sick, broken, scarred and hurting; now I'm filled with joy and thanksgiving for Jesus' love and His matchless power and majesty. He saves, He heals, He makes us whole. And He is the root of all that I have to be thankful for.

Great Reads

2009-11-10T15:59:00.002-05:00

If you want a couple of really great articles to read, check these out:
One on marriage: http://list.ldsmag.com/t/207573/212651/3316/0/
and one on the influence of thoughts on our feelings: http://list.ldsmag.com/t/208770/212651/3440/0/

Comfort Vs. Growth

2009-11-09T15:25:00.002-05:00

There's no growing in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growing zone!!

Pain is Necessary

2009-11-06T15:46:00.001-05:00

Elder Orson F. Whitney (1855–1931) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote:
“No pain that we suffer … is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of … patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer … , especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we [came] here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.” 7

Man or Mouse?

2009-11-04T11:27:00.003-05:00

It seems to me that when we live our lives by going through the motions, merely tackling one task or chore after another without giving much thought to where we came from, what we're here for, and where we're ultimately wanting to go... we've left behind our great and noble potential and have lowered ourselves to the level of animals whose thoughts and lives revolve around satisfying carnal urges and needs.
God gave us all the inherent talents and intelligence needed to rise above the ordinary and become royal heirs to all He has. I, for one, would rather be a daughter of God with all it's blessings, gifts, and duties, than to be just another creature going about my business with no thought of yesterday, today or tomorrow.

To Defend God

2009-10-29T16:18:00.004-04:00

I'm so thankful for great friends who share their love of good books with me! I came across this as I was reading and thought it was too profound not to share with everyone:

"There are always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless. These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think "Business as usual." But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.

These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush." - from Life Of Pi by Yann Martel

Real Freedom and Equality

2009-10-27T14:34:00.003-04:00

This quote from "Liberty and Tyranny" by Mark R. Levin really gave me something to think about:

'The late economist Friedrich Hayek, in his classic book The Road to Serfdom, wrote:
"Nobody saw more clearly than the great political thinker de Tocqueville that democracy stands in an irreconcilable conflict with socialism: "Democracy extends the sphere of individual freedom," he said. "Democracy attaches all possible value to each man, " he said in 1848, "while socialism makes each man a mere agent, a mere number. Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word: equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude."

To allay these suspicions and to harness to its cart the strongest of all political motives- the craving for freedom- socialists began increasingly to make use of the promise of a "new freedom." Socialism was to bring "economic freedom," without which political freedom was "not worth having."

To make this argument sound plausible, the word "freedom" was subjected to a subtle change in meaning. The word had formerly meant freedom from coercion, from the arbitrary power of other men. Now it was made to mean freedom from necessity, release from the compulsion of the circumstances which inevitably limit the range of choice of all of us. Freedom in this sense is, of course, merely another name for power or wealth. The demand for the new freedom was thus only another name for the old demand for a redistribution of wealth.'

Is there any help to get through the teen years??

2009-10-26T08:53:00.004-04:00

How do you deal with teenagers?
More and more lately I'm finding it hard to really relate to my daughter and her way of thinking. I know that the teenage brain literally is undergoing growth and transformation and that the way she thinks is different for biological as well as maturity reasons. I used to enjoy being around her but lately it's one fight after another.
I don't know how much I'm projecting my own troubled teen years onto her and restricting her because of it, or if I'm just doing what most "average" moms would do. How do I figure out the line between letting her take responsibility and making her own choices while also creating some accountability for when she doesn't live up to what she needs to do?
And what is it about teenagers that makes them suddenly start procrastinating and managing things so badly?? A good 90% of the contention in our home would be gone if she would just do her chores, do her homework and get ready to go somewhere BEFORE sitting around doing what she wants to. No matter how we explain this it just doesn't seem to get through to her. Do I become an even meaner mom and take away the cell phone for these infractions? Or save that punishment for larger crimes? Where's the line between reasonable and harsh? She wants to manage her own time but then gets angry when we don't give her a reminder (that it's time to go, etc.) I've gotten to the point where the reminders are quickly becoming a thing of the past because I know she needs to learn to manage her time on her own, but it's extremely stressful watching and waiting and hoping that she'll make it out the door on time. Especially on Sundays. Should I leave her at home a time or two (even for church)? What options do I have to get her to get ready in advance??
How do I help her understand the real value of things in life? Will we really just have to wait until she moves out on her own and then hits the brick wall of reality?? We've tried not to spoil her, we make her do chores to earn spending money, we've tried to teach her that she has a responsibility to the family. But none of that seems to have made any difference. She doesn't appreciate all that is done for her day in and day out. All she thinks about is her "hard" life and everything we ask her to do, and why she can't have the latest and greatest gadgets on our budget. I know she's got a lot on her plate with all honors classes, marching band, and church activities, but I also know that most of our youth have this and more and yet seem to manage fine. I'm at a loss as to how to teach her the value of helping in the home and earning what she gets.
I think most of this boils down to procrastination and ingratitude. If I thought yet another FHE on either would do any good I'd come up with lessons for the next 6 months!! We've taught and re-taught principles of gratitude, provident living, time management, etc.
This last week was rough. David ended up working for days and nights straight (I'm not even sure which times/days he was home because it was so crazy) and I ended up with yet another cold. Add to that unexpected responsibilities, and I was doing my best just to stay afloat. (I'm not looking for sympathy here- it wasn't a week that had me ready to cry or anything, it was just rough.) It was also a busy week for Aimee with band practice, a band concert, and a football game. But would it have killed her to have helped out a LITTLE? To have done her chores even?? To have thought about someone else (other than Fred) for more than 2 minutes??

Is it like this for everyone else with teenagers? Am I overreacting and just need to take a chill pill? Should I be even more harsh and take away the cell phone? What are some methods you've found that work with your teenagers?? I'm at a loss as to what to do with this alien creature called Teenager!

Pumpkin Patch Express

2009-10-20T19:50:00.004-04:00

I decided it was time for another fun fall family outing, and the fact that Aimee is almost 16 didn't faze me when I came across an ad for train ride out to a pumpkin patch!

On Saturday we started out in Lebanon at the Lebanon-Mason-Monroe Railroad for a nice 45 minute ride to Schappacher's Farm.

Here's a view of the inside of the train car that we rode in.

I got maybe two pictures of Aimee smiling.
She thought it was much funnier to make goofy faces.

Yep... here's the other one with her smiling.

I was happy hanging out in the corn field.

This turned out to be a very relaxing outing, even with seemingly hundreds
of young kids along for the ride! (Good thing we think young kids are fun!)

Here we are at the farm. Notice Aimee's silly look...

I don't know if this one counts as a smile or not...

At the farm we each tried a different apple drink (hot cider for me, an apple slush for David and a cute pumpkin sippie of apple juice for Aimee... I swear I didn't make her get it! It really was her choice!!) Aimee and I also tried a slice of their wonderful apple pie. Then it was off to the corn maze at the bottom of the hill. The ground wasn't wet or mushy but had this wonderful rubbery bounce to it. Kinda cool. It's the first corn maze I've been in so I don't know if it was good, bad, or otherwise, but we enjoyed it for about 10 minutes.
Then we went around to pet the donkeys and harass a chicken that couldn't figure out how to get back into it's henhouse, picked out 3 very cute little bitty pumpkins and boarded the train for the ride back. It was just enough time to enjoy the place without getting bored.

Our littly bitty pumpkins look really cute on my dining room table right now.
I think they'll look even better when I roast them with butter and herbs!!

Don't Worry... Be Happy!

2009-10-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

It seems to me that we all worry way too much. If it's not worrying about our kids' health or how clean our house is, then we're worrying about what others think of us or how we look. Some of us worry about what we eat or how much we weigh and others worry about being a perfect mom or reaching their full potential. We worry about money (or the lack thereof), the economy, politics, or education. There doesn't seem to be a limit on what or how much we'll worry about!

I'm not saying that there isn't a time and place for worrying, but it seems to me that maybe our time would be better spent if we worried far more about what God thinks of us than any of the other temporal concerns that bog us down every day.

Dont' get me wrong... I'm not advocating taking on yet another thing to worry about! I don't think that "worrying" about our eternal salvation and spiritual growth is something that should cause us additional stress and anxiety. Rather, "worrying" about God's opinion of us should free us from the worldly worries about everything else. If we're doing what we should and doing our best, then it will all work out. Whether we worry about it or not. God isn't going to let us down and leave us alone and comfortless. He's aware of our situation and He's going to give us the help we need, when we need it. We need to take our worries to Him and then trust in His guidance to solve our problems. It's not easy. We're human, and as such we're constantly aware of each "disaster" that affects our lives. We often live in fear of the next calamity that might hit. We worry, worry, worry and give up precious time and energy in the process.

So let's commit today to put aside our worries for an hour, a day, a week- whatever you can manage. Turn it over to the Lord and ask for His help. Then get on with your day and "worry" about what God would rather have you spending your energy on. Let the house look lived in, let the kids watch a little tv, eat a little too much chocolate and walk around in your sweats with no makeup on. Replace those worries with picking up the phone and calling someone who's lonely, reading the scriptures with your family, babysitting for a friend in need, raking someone's lawn or helping out in a school. "Worry" about what you can do to help someone else, without losing sight of everything you already do or being consumed by the need to do more than you have strength for.

God's not judging you on how perfect you can be... He's looking at the intents of your heart and seeing all the good you do and wishing that you would just relax and enjoy life a little more. He didn't create you to be consumed by all this. He sent you here to do good and to have joy.

So don't worry... be happy. Seriously.

An update

2009-10-12T21:33:00.003-04:00

I realized that I'm getting pretty bad about posting about things and then never updating, so I thought I'd just give a general update real quick:

1.) I would still love to have people over for dinner/games/get-togethers. I'm just trying to find an evening when I don't have something else going on already! After football/marching band season is over it'll open up Friday nights. And we're usually not busy on Tuesday nights and some Saturday nights. So if you're still interested in being invited to the cat lady's house... let me know!

2.) Although I still have many of the fears I've previously listed I'm actually coping pretty well. I accept the fact that I'm going to be afraid of things and take hope in quotes such as these:

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave." ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar, 1894

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. " ~Raymond Lindquist

3.) I'm not feeling so overwhelmed right now. I'd love to say that's gone and in the past, but I know it'll happen again. I'm human and I hate burdening others by delegating and asking favors but I'm trying to work through that. It helps that a wonderful friend felt her load lightened right at the time I needed help the most and was willing to share the burden.

Since I said I'd make this quick... I'll quit with the updates now and just post a nice picture of Aimee with us before homecoming:

My Husband's Integrity

2009-10-11T11:12:00.002-04:00

My husband had the opportunity this week to really show what true integrity is. He finished a job and took the tank to a scrap metal place where they handed him $1160 in cash. It would have been so easy to pocket some or even most of this money. It would have been the popular thing to do since the guy with him urged him to turn in a couple hundred of it to the company and split the rest between the guys who worked the job. No one in management would have known.
This was especially tempting in light of the fact that we have had many hard to budget for expenses in the last few months, the company changed the pay schedule so that we now have a couple hundred dollars less to work with each month, and this company treats it's employees so badly that most feel entitled to get whatever they can from it with no thought of loyalty. I can't say that the thought didn't cross my husband's mind that it wouldn't hurt anything, or that it wasn't tempting to keep some of it to help with our bills.
But in the end he stood up against all the other employees who did that job with him. They let him know how incredibly stupid they thought he was and harassed him for his integrity, especially for being loyal to his ideals when his own employer would (and does) take every advantage of his employees every chance he gets.
When David let the corporate office know that he had $1160 in cash on him, and that he wasn't comfortable holding it until next Wednesday (when he has to go to a 2 1/2 day manager meeting) they told him he couldn't give it to any of the other guys because it wouldn't make it back to the main office. They couldn't trust any of the other men to actually bring the money back. In fact, they were very surprised to find out a tank was worth that much because they usually only see $50-60 of the cash when other guys dispose of tanks.
If anyone doubts how hard it really is to have real integrity and to be honest in their dealings... go work with my husband sometime. He is a single light shining in a dark place. And I am so proud of him. I'd rather be destitute and still be able to hold my head up because my husband is an honest and real Christian than to have riches and worldly acclaim and know that it came through the loss of integrity.
I can't help but wonder how much more the employees would be willing to do for their employer is they were only treated like worthwhile human beings who contribute greatly to the success of the company. You can't treat people like crap and expect them to give their best. And, as this story proves, only one out of many will be loyal in spite of it.
We hope and pray for another job opportunity to open up within the next couple of years. For now, we feel that we are supposed to be here and that David is doing good where he is at. But we hope that someday he'll be able to have a job where his good deeds don't go unnoticed and where he'll be appreciated for his integrity, work ethic, and experience. Until then, I can still count on him standing up for what is right. What a huge blessing!!

General Conference!!

2009-10-03T18:48:00.003-04:00

Here's some of what I got out of the Saturday sessions:
1. When we are being told by numerous speakers how important the Spirit is in our lives I think we need to sit up and pay attention! I thought Richard G. Scott's comments on needing to struggle to learn how to be lead by the spirit were good (too often we seem to think it should come easy!) I also really liked his comment that "The Lord will not force you to learn." It's always our choice. We also need to be careful because "strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the spirit."
2. Still on the subject of the Holy Ghost was Sister Matsumori's counsel that we need to create an environment where we can listen to the spirit. We need to turn off the tv, radio, video games, electronics, etc. and have quiet time so that the spirit can reach us. This is becoming more and more important in our lives today.
3. L. Whitney Clayton reminded me of the perspective that our burdens can become blessings, but it's often not apparent until much later. Burdens also provide opportunities for us to practice virtues. Sin is among the heaviest burdens we bear, but Christ helps relieve us of that burden through repentance and forgiveness.
4. I loved the comments by Russell T. Osguthorpe: When we receive the truth we will be saved by it if we act on it. Learning and teaching are not optional, they are both a necessary part of the gospel.
5. I think David A. Bednar's talk was a good reminder that we need to practice the virtues of love at home first. Saying "I love you" has never been hard for David, Aimee and I, but I think we needed the counsel to make sure our love is reflected through words AND deeds. We should never assume that someone knows we love them- we should work to show them. I also appreciated the counsel to be consistent and avoid hypocrisy. Growing up I saw a lot of hypocrisy in some of the adults in my life and I always found it hard to listen to their counsel when I could see that they didn't live it... I love the reminder that I need to be careful of doing the same.
6. Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk on what we, as members, want to be known for. He had a couple of statements that really hit home for me: What we think and do determines who we are and what we will become. This is something that I've known on a certain level and have been working on, but the way he said it and in the context of this talk touched me. I also loved the statements: that at the heart of joy is the love of good things, and "though we are incomplete God loves us completely; though we are imperfect God loves us perfectly."
7. Neil L. Andersen's talk on Repentance was such a beautiful reminder that the Savior is able and eager to forgive our sins. Repentance is a journey and not a one-time event. It is a turning away from bad things and turning instead to good things and to God.
8. Boyd K. Packer's statements to "keep our mind clean of the clutter of the world" and that "Prayer is your personal key to heaven and the lock is on your side of the door."

There were a lot more great moments and incredible counsel but I can't write notes fast enough to accurately record them. I can't wait for next month's Ensign to show up in the mail so I can go over the talks again and pick out more of the parts that really touched my heart. I'm grateful that as I was listening to many of these talks I heard counsel given that was very pertinent and specific to challenges that my family and I have been facing. What a huge blessing! I can't wait for tomorrow!

If you would like to listen to counsel from a modern day Prophet, Apostles and leaders, go to: http://www.lds.org/broadcast/gc/0,5161,8870,00.html or watch it on BYU-TV. It's on at 12:00pm and 4:00pm Eastern time.

Being Overwhelmed

2009-09-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

It seems like every time I turn around lately I'm learning about another responsibility I have as Relief Society President. It wouldn't seem so overwhelming except I already feel like I'm working at my capacity and don't know how to handle anything more right now. I feel like freaking out and then just curling up on the floor and crying.
Thankfully my rational side kicks in and I just start prioritizing and making lists of what I need to do as I try to convince myself that I can tackle this one duty at a time. Sometimes that helps and other times just seeing the length of the list and the number of responsibilities that I really dread doing just makes me feel depressed. (That's not to say that I dread most of what I do... I love many aspects of my calling... but making phone calls and trying to arrange meetings and putting out fires really bites!!)
I try hard to rely on the Lord for strength and for abilities that I don't have on my own. I've felt Him holding me up and sometimes even pushing me forward. I believe in Him and that He's right there with me. But I can't help sometimes feeling like this is all just way too much. I'm not well educated or particularly talented, I struggle with being cynical and being a complainer, and I am really just not angelic enough for a calling this big!!
It's times like these that I have to drop to my knees and plead with Heavenly Father to get me through it. I'd like to say that I'm spiritual enough to say that I'm finding joy in the journey, but all too often I'm just slogging my way through. Maybe I don't lean on the Lord enough, or know how to let Him carry my burdens. It's something I need to work on.
I would gladly share if I felt there was anyone I could delegate to. Unfortunately, I feel guilty every time I ask someone else to do something because everyone I know is even more busy than me. With multiple children, jobs, extracurricular activities, church callings, and life happening, I don't feel right about piling anything extra onto the women I know. Now I know why Relief Society presidents I've known before have been overwhelmed and haven't been able to delegate well. It's not that we don't want to. It's that the guilt of overwhelming someone else is far greater than the need for self-preservation. Delegating becomes a last-ditch option.
Thankfully, I do have sisters who freely volunteer and so many women do their share and so much more. I don't want it to sound like I'm surrounded by slackers or anything. If that were the case, I'd feel fine about calling and asking others to take on half of what I'm doing! But everyone around me is so busy doing good that I don't feel it's right to take any more of their time.
I could go over a long list of "things would be easier if..." but in the end that's not going to change anything. My life is what it is right now and there aren't many aspects I can change. All I can do is keep taking one day at a time, learning as I go, and trying to do my best. And keep believing that the Lord really will carry my burdens, especially when they weigh so heavily. I know I'll look back at this someday and see all the angels He brought into my life and all the blessings I may be too overwhelmed to even notice right now.

A Gift From God

2009-09-27T21:33:00.003-04:00

I've been struggling a lot lately with cynicism and negativity. Part of it stems from just being so overwhelmed with everything that's being asked of me and feeling that not ony can I never get it all done but sometimes it's stuff that I don't want to do, and part of it comes from my natural personality, which tends to be ultra practical and rather cynical.
I had recognized that I needed help to overcome these thoughts and feelings because I didn't want to be thinking badly of things or to feel like certain things will never change. I knew when my complaining started becoming a form of normal conversation that I would need some heavenly help to overcome it.
I started praying that God would help me experience a change of heart, that He would help me to purge the cynicism and negativity. I thought I'd just see a gradual decrease of the negative thoughts and some extra strength to resist the urge to complain. I really should have known better by now!
Heavenly Father is so good to me at times that it literally makes me want to cry. He could have easily just given me the strength to change my own thoughts and better recognize the positive around me, but instead He sent me an angel. If someone could be described as the "pure in heart" I think this sister is it. She's so humble and unassuming that I'm sure she would never see herself as the angel in this post. She's my visiting teaching companion and she is a huge blessing in my life. She reminds me to think kindly of others and to pray for those who have upset or hurt me. She freely shares her testimony and doesn't think twice about standing up for what she believes in. I don't think she has a single cynical bone in her body and that has helped to offset the negative tendencies I have. She has helped me far more than I could ever help her. I know she has her struggles and others may not see all that I see in her, but this dear sister is truly an angel to me and I will forever be grateful for all that she has taught me. I wish that she could look through my eyes and see herself the way I see what I see.

We All Need Rest

2009-09-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

'....the Lord does not say to us, “Come unto me all ye that labor and I will give you a mile-long checklist, the completion of which is necessary in order to earn my approval and love.”
What he does say is, “come unto me all ye that labor and I will give you rest.” '

If this small tidbit has peaked your interest and you'd like to read more about the vital role of rest in our lives.. click on this link:
http://www.ldsmag.com/lineuponline/090918badrap.html

Random pictures

2009-09-19T06:00:00.001-04:00

Here's a rose in my backyard. It was a salvaged plant... someone planted it in the very shady corner of the backyard where it never really thrived (go figure!) When I decided to pull it out I couldn't bear to just throw it away so I plopped it in the ground and let it go... here's how it repaid me! (Well worth the effort!!)

I love cool looking bugs. And my zinnias seem to attract some good ones!

Check out the color on this guy!

Here's "Bear" doing what he does best- relaxing!
I'd pay good money to learn how to relax as well as he does!!

David and I hiked the trail at the Caesar Creek Nature Preserve last Saturday.
It was beautiful! I walked to the creek to get some pics and wish I could have stayed there for hours. It was so quiet and peaceful. Too bad it's so far from my house- I'd go back a lot more often if I could!

We had a visitor for a few days last week. Aimee named him Phillip.

He enjoyed hanging out on our zinnias and eating all the bugs he caught.

Fears

2009-09-18T06:05:00.001-04:00

I'm finding that I still have way too many fears.
I'm afraid of being asked to do more new things.
And of messing up if I do try.
I'm scared of not being able to keep up with everything that's required of me.
But sometimes too tired to really care.
I worry about not doing enough and about hurting other people's feelings.
There's only one of me and so many needs!
I'm afraid of my car breaking down and leaving me stranded.
And having to call someone for help.
I'm still scared of teaching and am really worried about pulling off a visiting teaching conference soon.
I'm backed into a corner on this one!

I'm afraid of my husband losing his job or having another disabling injury/illness.
Okay, neither are on the horizon, but we've had so many freak things happen suddenly in the past that it's hard not to think about it happening again.
I'm worried about not living up to my potential, but also scared of what it takes to get there.
Will I ever be good enough?
I'm afraid of getting too fat or out of shape to be able to enjoy life.
And of being dependant on other people.
I'm still scared of some people.
Even when they don't mean to be intimidating.
I'm uncomfortable in crowded places.
And having people hear me sing.
I'm scared of sounding stupid when I talk. Or worse, actually being stupid.
I'm afraid of going new places alone.

Eegads. I sound like a mental case.

Listening

2009-09-17T08:07:00.002-04:00

How well do we really listen to the Lord?

As I was reading 3 Nephi 11:3-6 it struck me that there are varying degrees and ways of listening. I'm sure there are just as many corresponding ways of being blessed depending on our level of attentiveness.

The Nephites had just been through the most traumatic experience possible- total darkness for three days in combination with earthquakes, fires, whirlwinds and floods. The complete darkness alone would have been scary, but with all the additional natural disasters happening simultaneously, it would have been downright terrifying, especially to those who had paid no heed to the prophecies.

I can only imagine the grief and terror of the survivors. To have your entire world thrown into chaos while being in total darkness for three days would be horrible. But the Lord didn't leave them entirely comfortless. He spoke to them in the darkness to remind them of His commandments and His desire to extend mercy to them. I think it's incredible that the people were silent for the space of many hours after this. No one discussed what they heard, no one was distracted by the conditions around them (I believe this was still during the period of darkness.) This gave them the opportunity to just sit and ponder the words of Christ. To let them sink in and to look within to see if they believed. As they did so their mourning, weeping and wailing ceased and they were filled with joy, their sorrow turned to thanksgiving to the Lord. They were blessed for listening.

As the darkness lifted the people gathered at the temple and were marveling at the changes that had taken place. It doesn't specify whether they were amazed solely by the change in the terrain or whether they were also considering the change in themselves, but I'd like to think it was some of both. They were talking to one another about Christ and the signs of His coming, which they had been witness to. As they were conversing they heard a small voice that "did pierce them that did hear to the center," but they didn't understand what it was saying. They were probably more than a little distracted by their conversations and by trying to take in everything around them. They then heard the voice a second time but still didn't understand it. BUT.. the third time they heard the voice they "did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came."

Right here, I think, is the key. They not only heard but also actively opened their ears (paid attention and listened) and also turned their eyes to the source of the sound.

When we hear the spirit speaking to us, do we continue on in our conversations and daily routines.. does it take three or more times for us to stop and pay attention? I think of it like the varying ways we listen to others. I think we can all relate to the experience of "listening" to someone who is just rambling on and on, or whose conversation isn't nearly as interesting as they think it is (think of times you've been listening to a child, spouse or friend and your responses are half-hearted "yep, un-hunh, un-hunh, yep" because your attention isn't really on what they're saying.) Contrast that with how intently you would listen if you had a life threatening condition and the only way to be saved is to listen to the instructions of your doctor and follow them exactly.

There are huge differences in levels of hearing, listening, and paying attention. When we are only partially paying attention to a conversation we are likely to be losing eye contact, letting our thoughts wander, and not really hearing half of what is being said. We could miss out on important information or signals. But when we are totally tuned in to someone else we find ourselves wanting to listen, focusing on them, and working to really understand what they're trying to convey to us.

If, like in my example above, we were receiving instructions from a doctor on how to save our own lives, we would likely meet with them in a quiet room, focus our attention solely on what he had to say, and write down everything we could. We would be doing our best to memorize as much of his counsel as possible and then follow through by doing things exactly.

So why isn't listening to the Lord just as important to us? Are our souls not worth as much effort to save as our bodies might be? I think we too easily forget that our bodies and this life are just temporary. It's our soul that is immortal and that is in the most danger. Our spirits need healing far more than our bodies ever will.

Often, when I've read or heard something that touches my heart, I find myself too quickly being distracted. I want to hold on to the feeling of the spirit speaking to me, but often I'm drawn away by the cares and desires of this world. I love hearing our prophet and apostles speak and am often touched by their counsel. But all too soon that feeling fades and I find myself caught up in trying to keep up with my everyday life. I have to make a real effort to take the time to sit in the quiet and ponder. To really open my ears and my heart and listen closely to what I don't hear when I'm distracted. I have to keep my gaze heavenward, towards the source of all knowledge and power if I want to be blessed with His guidance.

We all need to learn to take time to find a quiet place to really talk to God and more importantly, to listen to what He's trying to tell us. This is becoming more and more challenging as our world revolves around noise, busyness, work, entertainment, and distractions. We are surrounded by opinions and viewpoints on the best ways to solve this or that problem. But in the end, only Christ's instructions have the power to help us eternally. His only goal is to save us, and it's only through Him that we can have the peace that we cannot find in this world.

Jesus Christ is our physician and our healer. But- He isn't going to come to our house, screaming and yelling, pushing us to stop this harmful habit or forcing us to start a life-saving treatment. He'll speak to us in a quiet voice. Asking us to stop and listen. Pleading with us to focus on Him and thereby gain eternal life.

My Week in Review

2009-08-28T15:02:00.003-04:00

Monday: Get up before the crack of dawn (hooray for seminary starting a week before school does... please note the sarcastic tone!) Drive to church at 5:15 am. Visit with "Seminary Support Group" (other Moms who can't just drop their kids off but have to wait there instead) and read scriptures.
Get back home around 6:40 am. Eat breakfast, exercise, shower. Meet with someone in need of food to do a food order. Go grocery shopping for this person. Go home and eat lunch then clean up house. Make homemade dinner for family, do FHE, relax a little and head to bed!
Tuesday: Up early again and off to the church. It feels like a second home by the third week of seminary. Then it's the usual routine: eat, exercise, shower. Throw in some laundry. Meet with the sister missionaries and discuss how the work is going in our ward. Then it's off to the chiropractor to see if he can get rid of the back pain. Back home in time to make dinner and then it's time to relax a little!
Wednesday: Same ol' same ol'. Except today I went back to bed in the morning. That extra 1 1/2 hours of sleep really makes a difference!! More house cleaning, run a few errands including picking up Aimee's schedule and some new jeans, make some phone calls, otherwise just stay at home and get stuff done. Then it's out again to take Aimee to YW and some time at the library for me (David was at a Board of Zoning Appeals Meeting.) Laugh when my family sees how many books I've picked up at the library. I think I'm officially an addict.
Thursday: This time there's no time for going back to bed or exercising in the morning. Instead, I make pancakes for everyone's breakfast, see David off to work and then hit the shower. Get ready and head off to a presidency meeting at Erin's house. Then it's back home for 1/2 an hour and then off to another food order appointment. Back home again and try to work on laundry. I'm getting really bad about forgetting the loads in the dryer and having to re-run them because everything's wrinkly. I'm hanging on to my sanity as best I can! Make a new recipe for dinner that goes over amazingly well, then head off to Winton Woods for a 6 mile bike ride with David. Aimee still won't join us, but we had a good time! And David's not sore at all after only 6 miles. Guess we'll figure out what the magic number of miles is before too long.
Friday: Okay, getting back into a seminary schedule is HARD. And I'm not even the type who likes to stay up really late or sleep in. But my usual bedtime is around 10:00- 10:30 and I'm having to be up by 4:45. This just doesn't work well with my body! So it's back to bed for an hour today. I feel like such a slacker. But that doesn't stop me because at least this way I'm not feeling dead or cranky. Time to exercise and shower then it's off to the last food order of the week. Back to working on laundry (and setting the timer so I don't forget the dryer... boy, I wish the dryer had a buzzer to let me know when it was done!!) Time to chat with my cuz and other friends online for a bit, as well as update my blog. I'm looking forward to another visit with the chiropractor and then it's off to pick up a pizza at Sam's Club for dinner. Hopefully we'll get a walk in after dinner and before the rain, but after that it's time to watch a movie and relax!

Funny thing is... I've been told I stay busier than most people but I just don't see it that way. I still feel like such a slacker if I'm not doing something productive for the majority of every day, especially since I don't work outside the home or have little children. I still look at the Moms in our ward with amazement because I know they're not only staying busy, but taking care of little ones at the same time! And doing a dang good job of it!

So how's your week been??