DISCLAIMER: I am not currently depressed. I am okay. But I do have a history of depression and I think it's okay to share what it's like when those feelings start to overwhelm me.
Sea of Tears
darkness wraps it's tendrils around my mind
as the smile slides off my face
into a sea of sadness and fears
that threatens to swallow me whole
I feel myself falling
slowly being engulfed by the salty waves
until the will to fight is extinguished
and pain replaces my breath
I am no longer struggling
merely drifting with the motions
in the sea of tears
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Strength to Run
Mosiah 4:27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
I know a few runners. They could easily outrun me in any race. They are better able to keep up a fast pace for a longer distance. I, on the other hand, am a slow creature. I wasn't built for speed. Just look around the animal kingdom for examples of animals that are and are not made for speed. It's not just an excuse- some really are built to run faster. (Picture a cheetah versus a hippo...)
That's not to say that I couldn't run faster than I do now. I could get serious about training and go out running every day to increase my speed and stamina. Let's be honest, though- I'll never be an olympic contender!
But this got me thinking about what it really means to run faster than I have strength for. If I was a fast "runner", I could keep up a strenuous pace of activities. I could probably schedule more items in a day than I do now. But because I am a slow "runner" (technically just a walker) I have to pace myself and be careful not to overdo it. If I let myself get caught up in comparing how far ahead someone else is running, I'm probably going to get discouraged and want to give up.
If I'm wise and take into account my levels of spiritual fitness, energy, and health, I'll push myself a little beyond what I'm comfortable with, but not so far that I pull a muscle, strain a tendon, or otherwise injure myself (spiritually speaking.) By not being content to just be a slow walker, I can eventually strengthen myself to become a runner.
It doesn't matter what our level of fitness is in regards to the gospel. What matters is that we are diligent in moving forward, working to increase our strength and speed, while being careful to maintain that health and balance that will bring optimum results. We cannot run faster than we have the strength to, but we can steadily increase that strength and become more fit to do the work of God.
We might as well enjoy the strength we have and take advantage of it while we can. As we age we will become slower. Time takes it's toll on even the fittest of bodies. We need to be prepared for the day that our strength will only allow a shuffling walk, and know that God is just as satisfied with the efforts of the feeble as He is with the fit. God gives out prizes to those who finish, not just those who finish first!
I know a few runners. They could easily outrun me in any race. They are better able to keep up a fast pace for a longer distance. I, on the other hand, am a slow creature. I wasn't built for speed. Just look around the animal kingdom for examples of animals that are and are not made for speed. It's not just an excuse- some really are built to run faster. (Picture a cheetah versus a hippo...)
That's not to say that I couldn't run faster than I do now. I could get serious about training and go out running every day to increase my speed and stamina. Let's be honest, though- I'll never be an olympic contender!
But this got me thinking about what it really means to run faster than I have strength for. If I was a fast "runner", I could keep up a strenuous pace of activities. I could probably schedule more items in a day than I do now. But because I am a slow "runner" (technically just a walker) I have to pace myself and be careful not to overdo it. If I let myself get caught up in comparing how far ahead someone else is running, I'm probably going to get discouraged and want to give up.
If I'm wise and take into account my levels of spiritual fitness, energy, and health, I'll push myself a little beyond what I'm comfortable with, but not so far that I pull a muscle, strain a tendon, or otherwise injure myself (spiritually speaking.) By not being content to just be a slow walker, I can eventually strengthen myself to become a runner.
It doesn't matter what our level of fitness is in regards to the gospel. What matters is that we are diligent in moving forward, working to increase our strength and speed, while being careful to maintain that health and balance that will bring optimum results. We cannot run faster than we have the strength to, but we can steadily increase that strength and become more fit to do the work of God.
We might as well enjoy the strength we have and take advantage of it while we can. As we age we will become slower. Time takes it's toll on even the fittest of bodies. We need to be prepared for the day that our strength will only allow a shuffling walk, and know that God is just as satisfied with the efforts of the feeble as He is with the fit. God gives out prizes to those who finish, not just those who finish first!
Monday, October 4, 2010
General Conference Highlights
Here are a few of my favorite thoughts from General Conference: (with the disclaimer that I really stink at writing things down word for word so there are no quotes, just the gist of things.)
Jeffery R. Holland: I needed the reminder that I am loved of God and am not insignificant.
There was a definite theme of "Follow the Prophet" during this conference. Claudio R.M. Costa and Kevin R. Duncan both pulled from Ezra Taft Benson's talk entitled "14 Fundamentals in Following the Prophet." I loved hearing all 14, twice! I'm guessing that we haven't gotten that principle down perfectly if we need to hear it twice in one conference. It's too long to put all 14 in this post.
David M. McConkie's talk about teaching was helpful. Here are the bits of wisdom I gleaned from it: What matters most in learning is attitude- the attitude of the teacher. Successful gospel teachers love the gospel. The Lord will magnify us in our callings.
D. Todd Christofferson:
Signs of a consecrated life are 1. Purity 2. Work 3. Respect for One's Physical Body 4. Service 5. Integrity.
All honest work is the work of God.
Robert D. Hales asked a very good question: Are we practicing selective obedience?
Neil L. Andersen:
Life is no spiritual picnic. The road of discipleship is not for the faint of heart.
"Offended" has a corrosive companion called "ashamed."
Richard G. Scott:
Faith and character are intimately related. They interact to strengthen each other. The bedrock of character is integrity. Your character is a measure of what you're becoming.
Henry B. Eyring:
Lack of trust in God brings sadness. God does not rule in nations, but He is mindful of them.
Thomas S. Monson:
We often only see what is lacking. We need to pause and contemplate our blessings. Refuse to remain in the realm of negative thoughts.
Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in it's place. Gratitude requires conscious effort.
M. Russell Ballard:
Lucifer is a clever and cunning adversary. He knows our hunger or weaknesses. He tries to hook us with artificial lures, he is the counterfeit "fisher of men."
Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of each speaker and all of my notes, just the highlights and tidbits that touched me the most. What a blessing to be able to hear such great counsel twice a year!
Jeffery R. Holland: I needed the reminder that I am loved of God and am not insignificant.
There was a definite theme of "Follow the Prophet" during this conference. Claudio R.M. Costa and Kevin R. Duncan both pulled from Ezra Taft Benson's talk entitled "14 Fundamentals in Following the Prophet." I loved hearing all 14, twice! I'm guessing that we haven't gotten that principle down perfectly if we need to hear it twice in one conference. It's too long to put all 14 in this post.
David M. McConkie's talk about teaching was helpful. Here are the bits of wisdom I gleaned from it: What matters most in learning is attitude- the attitude of the teacher. Successful gospel teachers love the gospel. The Lord will magnify us in our callings.
D. Todd Christofferson:
Signs of a consecrated life are 1. Purity 2. Work 3. Respect for One's Physical Body 4. Service 5. Integrity.
All honest work is the work of God.
Robert D. Hales asked a very good question: Are we practicing selective obedience?
Neil L. Andersen:
Life is no spiritual picnic. The road of discipleship is not for the faint of heart.
"Offended" has a corrosive companion called "ashamed."
Richard G. Scott:
Faith and character are intimately related. They interact to strengthen each other. The bedrock of character is integrity. Your character is a measure of what you're becoming.
Henry B. Eyring:
Lack of trust in God brings sadness. God does not rule in nations, but He is mindful of them.
Thomas S. Monson:
We often only see what is lacking. We need to pause and contemplate our blessings. Refuse to remain in the realm of negative thoughts.
Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in it's place. Gratitude requires conscious effort.
M. Russell Ballard:
Lucifer is a clever and cunning adversary. He knows our hunger or weaknesses. He tries to hook us with artificial lures, he is the counterfeit "fisher of men."
Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of each speaker and all of my notes, just the highlights and tidbits that touched me the most. What a blessing to be able to hear such great counsel twice a year!
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