It's heartbreaking to have your teenage daughter ask what's wrong with her, that makes other people not like her. How do you teach someone how to be likeable? How do you help a teenager get past their sullen nature to blossom into the beautiful person that's lurking inside? How do you help someone understand that manners really do matter a lot, and that the way they sit sometimes presents a different picture to others than what they would want to portray? It's not like I haven't been trying to teach my daughter all about service, love, manners, consideration, and acceptance.
What's even sadder is to hear that a couple of my good friends have actually made comments about not liking my daughter. I'm assuming it was within the walls of their house where they thought the comments would stay, but kids talk... and unfortunately they've told my daughter, which makes her feel even worse about herself and leaves her feeling confused as to why these people don't like her, especially when they've pretended to to her face.
Honestly, I'm not sure why they don't like her either. Sure, she has her faults. She can be a sullen, moody, selfish teenager. But there's more to her than that. She's also got a great sense of humor, is a loyal friend, has a strong desire to do what's right, and has many incredible talents. Her teachers like her. Her best friend's mother likes her. I like her. So why don't YOU like her?
What more can I do to help my daughter learn to be more "likeable?" What is it that she's done (or not done) that she should change? I'd love some honest input on this because frankly, I'm stuck. She's a teenager and not always real open to the advice of her mother, but I'm happy to keep working at it because she's so worth it.
Feel free to comment anonymously because I'm sure my good friends won't want to admit openly that they're the ones who have said they don't like her. I'm not bitter or angry about it, just sad and confused and would love some answers.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
"How to be a Boss for Dummies"
It doesn't seem like it would take much common-sense to figure out how to be a decent boss. But I guess it does because we've run across a few gems throughout David's career. I don't think any can top the man he's working for now, though.
So here's a basic "guide for dummies" for anyone who is thinking of going into management or business:
What NOT to do:
1. Think of yourself and your pocketbook before everyone and everything else. Protect your interests at all costs.
2. Treat people like property instead of assets. Convince yourself that you own them and act accordingly.
3. Send out rude emails on a regular basis.
4. Don't give raises for three years in a row. Especially to one of your highest producing managers. Don't worry about cost of living increases either.
5. Micromanage. Make sure you know every single detail of every thing going on. And then tell your employees how to do every single step of the process. This is especially good with a highly experienced and capable manager.
6. Ask people to bring toilet paper and paper towels from home so the company doesn't have to pay for them. (No joke... this happened.)
7. Cheat your clients as often as you can get away with it.
8. Tell everyone you're a Christian but do everything possible to prove that you don't follow Christ's teachings.
On the other hand, if anyone is interested in how to be a great boss:
What TO DO:
1. Be generous. The more we give, the more we tend to receive. What you spend on advertising, salaries, equipment, etc. will usually pay for itself and create additional revenue.
2. Treat your employees well. You won't have to worry about loyalty if you treat people with respect, make them feel valued, and pay them fairly.
3. Be polite. It goes a long way.
4. Reward productive employees well. That way they don't take that talent elsewhere and earn money for someone else.
5. If you have experienced, capable managers, supervisors, or employees, tell them what to do and then back off and let them do it!! It helps prove that you have confidence in them and lets them have the freedom to use their creativity and knowledge.
6. Be known as the kind of company someone would WANT to work for. Make sure your employees needs are taken care of.
7. Be totally honest and fair with your clients. Clients learn quickly who they can trust and who to use on a regular basis. You can only get away with cheating clients for so long before they catch on and take their business elsewhere.
8. Be who you say you are.
9. Follow the business practices of successful companies who have happy employees. Obviously they've got something figured out. Learn from them!! Read about good business practices and make positive changes.
Because of the economy and the desire to stay put until Aimee graduates, it looks like David will have to stick it out with this company. It's shameful that employers are able to treat people so badly just because they know they can hire someone to take their place. The economy won't stay bad forever, though. And we'll be open to moving within 2 years or so. Hopefully David will be lead to an employer who will value his experience, knowledge and capabilities. (And if something opens up locally before then... there's nothing keeping him at his current job!!)
My only option for now is to occasionally rant and then just pray that his boss' heart will be softened and that he'll come to a better understanding of how much he holds his company back with the way he treats people. Please pray for David to have the patience and self-control necessary to meet his boss' actions politely while still holding on to his integrity.
So here's a basic "guide for dummies" for anyone who is thinking of going into management or business:
What NOT to do:
1. Think of yourself and your pocketbook before everyone and everything else. Protect your interests at all costs.
2. Treat people like property instead of assets. Convince yourself that you own them and act accordingly.
3. Send out rude emails on a regular basis.
4. Don't give raises for three years in a row. Especially to one of your highest producing managers. Don't worry about cost of living increases either.
5. Micromanage. Make sure you know every single detail of every thing going on. And then tell your employees how to do every single step of the process. This is especially good with a highly experienced and capable manager.
6. Ask people to bring toilet paper and paper towels from home so the company doesn't have to pay for them. (No joke... this happened.)
7. Cheat your clients as often as you can get away with it.
8. Tell everyone you're a Christian but do everything possible to prove that you don't follow Christ's teachings.
On the other hand, if anyone is interested in how to be a great boss:
What TO DO:
1. Be generous. The more we give, the more we tend to receive. What you spend on advertising, salaries, equipment, etc. will usually pay for itself and create additional revenue.
2. Treat your employees well. You won't have to worry about loyalty if you treat people with respect, make them feel valued, and pay them fairly.
3. Be polite. It goes a long way.
4. Reward productive employees well. That way they don't take that talent elsewhere and earn money for someone else.
5. If you have experienced, capable managers, supervisors, or employees, tell them what to do and then back off and let them do it!! It helps prove that you have confidence in them and lets them have the freedom to use their creativity and knowledge.
6. Be known as the kind of company someone would WANT to work for. Make sure your employees needs are taken care of.
7. Be totally honest and fair with your clients. Clients learn quickly who they can trust and who to use on a regular basis. You can only get away with cheating clients for so long before they catch on and take their business elsewhere.
8. Be who you say you are.
9. Follow the business practices of successful companies who have happy employees. Obviously they've got something figured out. Learn from them!! Read about good business practices and make positive changes.
Because of the economy and the desire to stay put until Aimee graduates, it looks like David will have to stick it out with this company. It's shameful that employers are able to treat people so badly just because they know they can hire someone to take their place. The economy won't stay bad forever, though. And we'll be open to moving within 2 years or so. Hopefully David will be lead to an employer who will value his experience, knowledge and capabilities. (And if something opens up locally before then... there's nothing keeping him at his current job!!)
My only option for now is to occasionally rant and then just pray that his boss' heart will be softened and that he'll come to a better understanding of how much he holds his company back with the way he treats people. Please pray for David to have the patience and self-control necessary to meet his boss' actions politely while still holding on to his integrity.
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