Here's my predicament: I know that our whole earthly existence is leading up to an eternal life with our families, and that what we're supposed to be learning here is to live with and love others. So where does that leave me? I've always been the outcast in my family (partly through my own fault) and never felt like I fit in. I left home at 18 and had to keep my distance in order to overcome family traits, habits, and ways that were hurtful and keeping me from healing. I'm not saying I have a bad family or that I don't love them... it was just pretty dysfunctional and I couldn't pass along some of the stuff I grew up with to my own child. And I wasn't strong enough to leave it behind without doing so physically as well as mentally and emotionally.
Does this mean that I'm a failure because I never did learn how to live with them and near them? What will eternity be like for someone like me, who doesn't have a close relationship to anyone but my immediate family? Can heaven really be "heaven" in a case like mine? Or will I live eternally with regrets and wishes for closer relationships that never did happen in this lifetime?
I'm not saying that life is empty and hopeless for me. I am somewhat closer to my husband's family than my own, and my husband, daughter and I are quite close. I just wonder sometimes what eternity will be like when you don't have the type of family situation that feels like a "forever" family.