Friday, September 18, 2009


I'm finding that I still have way too many fears.
I'm afraid of being asked to do more new things.
And of messing up if I do try.
I'm scared of not being able to keep up with everything that's required of me.
But sometimes too tired to really care.
I worry about not doing enough and about hurting other people's feelings.
There's only one of me and so many needs!
I'm afraid of my car breaking down and leaving me stranded.
And having to call someone for help.
I'm still scared of teaching and am really worried about pulling off a visiting teaching conference soon.
I'm backed into a corner on this one!

I'm afraid of my husband losing his job or having another disabling injury/illness.
Okay, neither are on the horizon, but we've had so many freak things happen suddenly in the past that it's hard not to think about it happening again.
I'm worried about not living up to my potential, but also scared of what it takes to get there.
Will I ever be good enough?
I'm afraid of getting too fat or out of shape to be able to enjoy life.
And of being dependant on other people.
I'm still scared of some people.
Even when they don't mean to be intimidating.
I'm uncomfortable in crowded places.
And having people hear me sing.
I'm scared of sounding stupid when I talk. Or worse, actually being stupid.
I'm afraid of going new places alone.

Eegads. I sound like a mental case.


Mama D said...

This sounds so much like me! I also have fears, many of the same ones you do.

I've been thinking of writing a post about my feelings, but unsure how to do it. Maybe I'll copy your idea of just putting it out there in a list of sorts.

Eegads. We can be mental patients together. :)

Heather said...

Patty, you're great! Don't stress about the vting conference. Everyone loves you and loves to hear what you have to say. We love you 'cause you're you, so that's all you need to be. :)

Leslie said...

What?? Did you climb into my brain and steal all my fears?? I could have written that.