Monday, August 10, 2009

Trudging along

I've thought about it long and hard, and I believe the superpower I'd really like to have is unending energy. It seems like everything lately keeps sucking the life out of me. I've tried eating better, exercising almost every day, getting more sleep... nothing seems to help. I almost feel like I had a limited amount of energy to spend throughout my entire time here on earth and I blew through most of it in my earlier years!! What a waste!
On Saturday evening I got a call from the dear sister who was supposed to teach on Sunday... letting me know that her entire family is sick and she might not be able to make it to church the next afternoon to teach. Gulp! Wouldn't you know that this happens on the month that my Education Counselor is out of the country??!! Normally she's the one who would take that call and worry about subbing, but not this time! I really thought after last Sunday's lesson that I was off the hook for awhile. I had breathed my sigh of relief and was getting back to normal without the thought of teaching a lesson hanging over my head. I really believe God has quite the sense of humor. Funny thing is, I knew as soon as I got the call that I would end up being the one to teach and that it was another learning experience for me. I'm sorry that our regular teacher and her family had to get sick for me to learn this lesson, but I'm glad that I felt a sense of calm and peace during most of the limited time I had to prepare.
Unfortunately, that peaceful, lovely feeling left almost as soon as I got up in front of the room. I stumbled my way through a lesson that was not easy to teach. And to make matters worse, the Relief Society room was about a bazillion degrees. I wasn't sure if it was the spirit being felt or if we were all just melting. I'm inclined to think it was the latter since my perception was that the lesson was a complete flop.
Oh well. At least it's done. I'm breathing another sigh of relief. Except now I'm a little on edge too... what else is going to be thrown my way unexpectedly? I wish I could say that I'll gracefully deal with whatever comes along, but the truth is that I'll probably still stumble and trip my way through it. I'm hoping that my willingness to endure and keep trudging along counts for something.
So for any of you who were tortured by having to hear two lessons from me in a row- I apologize. I'd love to infuse them with a lot more energy and interest, but as you can tell from the beginning of this post- I'm all out. Someone please wind me up again.


Erin said...
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Erin said...

Your lesson wasn't a flop. Really. Clearly you don't believe me... but I meant it the first (and each subsequent time!). The heat WAS unbearable and extreme - which could make anyone confused (including a stellar teacher), but you did well. Wish I could share some energy with you, but I'm a bit tapped out myself. I'm thinking a long, solitary vacation might do the trick? If I ever take one (as if) I'll let you know!

Papa D said...

Talk with my wife. I mean it. I can't make it an order, but I can make it a plea.

So, please, talk with Mama D.

Mama D said...

Patty, I sorely miss your lessons! You are a wonderful teacher - maybe not the most polished, but your insight is astounding. I love learning from you. I'm sure Erin is right and your lesson was better than you thought it was. I often feel that way about talks and lessons.

I hope your energy will rebound soon. I totally understand the feeling! By the time we moved, I was just going through the motions. I had nothing left to give anyone (including myself) by the time we arrived here. That's one of the reasons I am unpacking slowly. Don't you agree that it stinks to simply trudge along when you want to be running joyfully?!?

I'd love to share some of the AC from Quincy with y'all! Our new building is FREEZING!! I hope that during the winter the heat works as well as the AC obviously does in the summer. Seriously, they have a space in the RS closet for lap size fleece blankets - and it's open for any and everyone who needs one. There are at least 5 every week. It's weird to walk from the house into 90 degree heat with a sweater over your arm so you won't freeze during church...

Remember as you trudge along that you aren't alone in your dragging steps. And remember that I love and miss you, dear friend!

chelle said...

I have an idea...I'll check you rback for that magic wind up knob if you check mine!
It is amazing how emotional things can drain you physically. You have a whole buffet worth of plates you are juggling right now. I know I wouldn't hold up under the same pressures. You really are amazing.
I am sorry I missed your lesson.
But, once again I over did it Fri and Sat and ruined my chances of trying to make it to church. I am still paying for it today!
Hang in there. :)
Love your background.